Her infectious expressions and playful delight with no knowledge to herself; an everlasting gift to a lost soul a magnificent radiant light disrupting all the darkness making every day meaningful all over once again
This one has bothered me the moment I hit the publish button…but really…do I give a damn? I am who I am…right? My only point being I who I follow is listed on my page. I attempt to follow everyone…but at the same time I try and point people to people to individuals who have a purpose…who’s blogs stand out. Do I appreciate everyone who reads or likes mine? Of course I do. Does it make or break me? Of course not. I am an introvert with little or no self esteem except when I am manic and can rule the world! With this said…I hope this makes more sense. It does to my crazy a*s self anyway.
Be wary of whom I follow! I do like to follow everyone back. And I do try and even follow everyone that even likes my posts which I am not great at…but trying. And then the people whom post (you know who ur) The part I need to work on the most.
But I really need to go through today and sort through? Does that make sense? Not being rude at all…but hopefully it makes sense. Hmmm well it does to me.
Anyways…I’d rather concentrate on writing, catching up on others posts, and drowning in my newly found darkness. But first…breakfast and sorting.
So odd for me how easy it is too string together endless words expressing my hidden emotions when I am anywhere but up up and away! Then when I start to ascend I begin to sail categorically out of control causing everlasting damage whatever path I may have chosen to take this time around. When I descend back to reality, looking back at yet another catastrophe left with a devils touch, I am always left bewildered. Am I really responsible for ALL this?
Posting in a blog does help with dealing with every day emotions, but I have found it helps chart moods without even trying as well. I write when I am down or in a mixed state. Therefore, regrettably it is easy to look back on when my last post was and like a brutal slap on the face I can see exactly when things started to swing. I judge things by situational circumstances, then start taking a look around me, and ask myself why am I writing again? It’s like holy fu*k! Not again.
Med changes! Therapy! Anxiety! Depression! Getting back on track and revisiting my comforting place…my dark place…my best friend!
Know that you’re crazy is beautiful because it makes you YOU
wear your skin like acozy blanket in the warmth of yourself
you are not broken
but scattered like the night with pieces like stars shining
open your pain and yourself to the wound of the world and heal and choose…